I have a few close friends. I guess you could say that’s more than most people have, so I guess I’m quite lucky in that respect. Some of these friends have never met the others, some have, but they all seem to have one thing in common…they all tell me to look after myself, stop saying yes to everything, do something for me, stop looking after everyone else, put “me” first etc.
I love these people dearly, but sometimes they drive me nuts. I like to do things my way. I like to put others before myself. I like to help people and not say “no” to everything and I like to look after others. I like to be the one people call on when they need something. I like to be the one that stands out from everyone else and shows I genuinely care. I’m a people pleaser apparently.
However, I have discovered something recently that wasn’t something I thought of before, or at least I don’t think I did. I’m starting to think that I should put me first. To hell with doing things for others all the time. If I want to get somewhere and achieve what my mentors have achieved, then I have to be a little bit selfish along the way.
And you know what!? That’s not a terrible thing. Every one of us has to be selfish every now and then. You have to put yourself first and be a little less of a people-pleaser: its what you have to do to get shit done.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to turn into a bitch, I just think I need to be a little more disciplined to be able to set out and do what it is I want to in the longer term.
For instance, my lifelong dream has been to move to the U.S. I’m getting closer - I now work for an American company and I’m working my way into departments that only function in the States.
I just need to make a little more “me” time and set out to resolve whatever it is that’s holding me back and get shit done to achieve whatever I want to.
I’ve been attempting this where I can control it more; at work. I’ve been slowly weaning folks off asking me tons of questions instead of fending for themselves. Stopped helping everybody out just because they asked. Stopped saying “yes” to everything, especially when it hinders what I need to do.
And what happened? I got called mean last week. I’m taking it as an achievement rather than a criticism. Also, I’m a little annoyed that a guy in my same position would be called “strong willed” or “dedicated”, not “mean”. That sucks, but its life.
Part one complete; now on to part two - my personal life.
I’ve been travelling more this past year or two. I LOVE it. I love exploring. I love experiencing new things; I never thought I’d say that. I went hiking in mountains in North Carolina and kayaking along a river in Florida on my OWN last year; two things I said I wouldn’t think I’d like and you know what…I can’t bloody wait to get back in a kayak and be in amongst nature and that glorious sunshine in the Sunshine State. Its simply beautiful. Words just can’t describe it.